Stay at home Mum

Today is the first day where I start my No Pay Leave! So scary, the thought that im not going to have any income and can't spend freely as i use to makes me worried. But i know i have sufficient funds to last me till next year so i asked for NPL till Apr 2025 when baby is 18 months old and can go playgroup. 

Many asked :" Why you want to take NPL? Your baby has your MIL to take care why you want to take?" The reason is exactly so! Ever since i went back work from ML, i'm so worried that she will stick to MIL because she will be the main caregiver, which will be my biggest nightmare. Also there is this Mummy's guilt and jealousy, i dont want her to want other adults except me or my hubby. In addition its my MIL, not my own mum, therefore i still am apprehensive of the way she take care of her and there are times where i really want to just take care of my baby and she is in the way, either nag and say things, instructing me not to do this or that or keep holding my baby. I also try not to be a bitch and complain about MIL but really, there seems to be this MIL-baby-mum love/hate scenario worldwide where definitely there will be conflict in terms of how to raise the baby, how to change diaper, how to make her sleep,  what she drinks/eat, etc. In addition, im currently still living at their house, hence you can assume more times to have conflicts. However it also means free baby care and we can go out to have time alone and leave her in their care, which is really the main reason why im still living here.

Oh and another reason is im so tired from waking up in the dead of the night for the last 7 months to pump, so i think take this leave makes me more sane too. Also Kudos to me from still breastfeeding till 7 months ! I thought i wont even last 1 month and now im still going. But the intervals are also stretch to 5-6 hours so i can have more time for myself instead of being a cow haha!

& Finally my new house is coming soon! My Champions Green estate already have people collecting keys, although my blk is the last to give :( But its ok as i havent yet find contractor/ID and still contemplating which one to hire. Some criteria we are looking at:

1) Budget for reno including electricals: <$20K

2) Basic carpentry for living room, cabinets for 2 bed rooms, kitchen cabinets (most likely given to my father's company)

3) Flooring to be tiles for living room, and vinyl for bedrooms

We have our design and plan so we are thinking to spend the least amount of money as possible. Also the location is not good and we will move out after MOP in 5 years time. So no need for extravagant reno, although i really wanted to makeover a house until its like hotel. But sadly not possible. Live small, in our own means and we dont need to be a working slave till 70 years old haha

Now i have to spend my time to research more, and accompany my baby and just rest too. Hope you are doing great too!!💓

Gtg and enjoy my no money days XD 😅

2023 and 2024 resolutions

 2023 - Pregnant and baby girl

This year 2023 passed so fast, even faster than previous years as i was so busy with one thing- Welcoming my little baby girl!👶 My whole year is filled with her, from the time i realised im pregnant till giving birth and surviving the first few weeks with newborn. It was tough and i was so wrecked in the first few weeks but luckily i survived with BB's help and others. 

We had an induction as baby was reaching week 40, and she came out one day before that. Giving birth was actually easier than the first few weeks after birth, there was no pain and my epidural ended just nice so that i can feel a bit of her moving out from me, like pushing poop out haha. However it was still traumatic as i just lie there not knowing what would happened next and doc just came and put things in my V and then suddenly say i am ready to push within 5 hours of labour. There was no pain until that first night where i feel very sore feeling near my tailbone. I thought its the usual pain where tailbone was impacted. However, it was more towards my right butt and it so pain, deep within the nerves, that make me cry as i cant do anything to lessen it. No position or even lying down can lessen the pain, you can imagine the horror of walking and trying to poop. Eventually doc say its due to episiotomy at my right butt- the tear was so long it reached there. There was nothing I can do except to wait for healing and eat pain killers. Up till the 3rd week then i start to feel the pain has lessen and slowly recovered. I can still remember the night in hospital where i need to go toilet and need the help of BB to hold me while i take baby steps and crying cause of the pain. Thank god we booked A ward and he can stay overnight to help take care of me. Looking back, it was the last 2 nights where we can have full 8 hours sleep haha

To be honest, i feel like i did not have a good confinement period. We did not engage confinement nanny as there was no spare room, and only BB's mum can help which is mainly to take care of baby in the day. At night i have to wake up to pump, another whole set of agony, and feed baby or to clean her- there was not much chance for me to lie down and rest. Hence there was no one to take care of me except BB which is really quite sad. Lack of sleep coupled with pain down there and a body that was in need of recovery, makes me have baby blues. Never have i cried so much in my life with such intensity. I felt like my whole world has changed, the sky had crashed down and i cant even do basic stuff like walking that i feel so depressed. I also missed my home and family as i stayed at in-laws house from 2nd trimester, i missed my freedom and simple life and full 8 hours sleep before pregnancy. I even wished to turn my life back to pre-pregnancy times, but now i wont trade my baby for any other things-maybe for an full 8 hours sleep or travelling haha.

Also giving birth means i have to relearn everything- pee, poop, walk, even till today my body is so sore and pain from carrying baby. I need to relearn exercise and to build more muscle strength. When i went to TCM massage, the masseuse said my left butt was bigger than right and my hip is shifted to right. Looks like i still have alot more recovery to do. 

But with all these woes, my heart has never been so filled with love for my little one. Motherhood is challenging and harsh, but it also opens up a whole new world that's more exciting and fun. I realised  i will do anything and everything so that my baby is safe and healthy💗

My resolutions for next year 2024 - Focusing on myself

After this few months of postpartum period, i realized the importance of a healthy body with strong muscles and that adequate rest is paramount to one's sanity. Relaxation and exercise is also very important so i wont hesitate to spend more money on myself for exercise and relaxation and massage. & To take walks when i need to clear my mind and to breathe in deeply and more slowly.

I also realised the need to stand up for my opinions and views with no guilt, and to fight for them even if it means going against BB or his family opinions. Trust my decision and own it! Last time i felt incompetent and indecisive and let their opinions changed my decision. But now im changed and wont hesitate to say No. E.g. like when i want to bring baby back home to meet my family, BB and family was saying she was too small, but i knew that its safe to bring her to my house as we wont be going out too. & my parents can only see her grandaughter once after so long. Surely if its the opposite way round, BB would have also want to bring baby back regularly for them to meet her.

I also should learn to voice out my frustrations more, and if there are things that im not happy about i should talk and discussed instead of keeping quiet.  & i wont hesitate to fight when i have to protect my baby.

 

This Christmas we cant go out to see lights as baby cant go crowded places and Covid came back. Its a bummer as i always wanted to bring her out, but we managed to go to a cafe once! Big achievement ;) Hopefully we can go out more and travel soon! 

Lastly, i hope everyone i loved will be safe, healthy and happy and warm with lots of joy and love, and to march into 2024 with positive hope and dreams! Finally i have a special little one to celebrate christmas and new year. Grow well my Aurelia, mummy baba will protect and teach you to survive this world. 

 .

 .

 .

This year my family is complete 👪Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

 

8 Months and less than 2 months left!

As what they says, time flies! Initially it was an agony waiting for 2nd trimester to come, i cant bear to hold my pregnancy as a secret esp at work as i feel really unwell and yet i cant say anything. Then 2nd trimester is like a breeze, i can finally eat all the oily food without getting nauseous, like roti prata and tori Q haha! Then suddenly now week 32, going week 33 this week! 

We really hope baby will stay in tummy for longer as lately my Big Sis just gave birth at week 35. Its really sudden and everything was not ready. After learning this, me and BB got scared and we have washed baby clothes, sterilize the baby bottles and pumps stuff yesterday so we can packed them into the hospital bag.

Still got lots of things havent done: the mattress for baby cot, baby's standing bath tub, buy baby laundry detergent, etc. But we done a couple of others like settling my confinement meals, getting a free baby cot, getting the essentials like baby bottles, etc. I also now going to slowly stop working, like write finish my appraisal and didnt spend much time as i really dont feel i will get good grades, writing my handover already. 

Oh ya speaking of my sister pregnant, the day when she announce her preg is also the same day as me! Just that she already week 13 and im like 6 only. Cause i cant wait to break the news as i feel very tired and keep retching. then i initally show my ultrasound first then JH say teddy also wearing Big brother shirt. then im like thinking how will the dog wear that shirt in advance before i say? Then turns out Teddy wear the shirt cause my Sis is pregnant also! So mind blown for all of us hahahah . But i think its good that i revealed on the same day so we get double surprise!💖

Hope my last stretch of pregnancy goes smoothly and i have a smooth labour, nothing unexpected. I know its gg to be tough but i will stay strong for my baby who is kicking me in my tummy. Lately baby's movements are so strong i can see waves and kicks and my whole tummy shakes haha. Truth be told, i will miss my pregnancy as i really quite enjoy at the last parts like i can take cab when i need to go out, and everyone is so accommodating  to me haha like kind ppl will give up seats, or colleagues also tell me to go home early when i was in office. Also not too much work stress and i can WFH! keke

Hui Fang Jiayo! Hope baby and you stay healthy and happy!👶👪

Im...Pregnant!! :)

Its been a while since i checked in, and im Pregnant! :) Unbelievable, now already going to reach 16 weeks or 4 months and EDD is 25 Oct! After marriage i was diagnosed with hyperthyroid so only when doctor give the Green light around Oct last year then we start to plan. Happy to say that everything is going according to plan and our little Muffin is growing very well and healthily! 💗 I knew that i was pregnant on Valentine's day cause i see some spotting, and tested to be positive! Super happy and excited and quickly share the news with hubby first, and family when im 6 weeks preg. I cant imagine keeping this secret from them when im feeling so tired everyday and uncomfortable, Kudos to all Mummies who can keep this a secret till 3 months haha!

I was on hospitalization leave at home for the past 2 weeks , cause there was some spotting and i quickly go see my gynae at Kovan Dr Phua. I thought it could be something minor like cervix irritation or what, turns out my placenta area is bleeding which scared me a bit. He gave a Jab on my buttock and i have to eat progesterone everyday which makes me very drowsy. But luckily so far all is good! I went back to check (on my Birthday 6 may) and doc say its improving still have some bleeding, so back to medicine :( But all is worth it for little Muffin! 

Little Muffin, Mama and Baba cant wait to see you! Even though my first trimester was not very well with vomits and nausea, now i feel better and can eat more fast food and oily food haha, but Mama will monitor my diet and give u good nutrients ok? Try not to scare us too ok keke

Hope you grow up normally and healthily, love you!💕

Officially sold to the Man of my Life!

1 May 2022- the day where I promise to love and be with BB forever for the rest of my life👰 

I always hope that i can found the One, and then the day when he proposed to me and promises to take care of me for the rest of my life, and then the day we married. All that had happened and I feel so blessed and thankful everyday to have such a loving and loyal husband.

So thankful that we can do a small wedding with lunch banquet of 50 pax, where everything is more cozy and intimate, with lesser costs and frustrations too! And also so thankful to my enthu sisters and bro-in-law to help us that day and during planning! 

Although our banquet was at Novotel Stevens, they can't let us stayover as they are no open to public and only for covid people to quarantine. Although its a bit sad that we cant stay there, we still manage to find alternative at Voco. More ex, but at least we can all stay over the night before and after, which makes it more like a staycation than a wedding day (which we felt on the day before wedding, like what are we here for? XD)

Then on 1 May i managed to sleep a few hours then awoken by lightning flashes, then i start to feel stress cause i don't want rain on my wedding day. Luckily the rain stopped before we went out and its really a blessing from the skies! Although i only have 2 -3 hours of sleep i feel so happy and alive that day, cause i can finally marry my best friend and lover.

Everything went according to the plan with no hiccups, except maybe Novotel didnt provide us with flower petals when march in, but it was perfect; the wedding that i had hoped for.

So what happened after wedding? We are still staying at each other house, then i stay over at his place during weekends. Hope our HDB faster get build soon, now estimated 2024 end :(. 

Congratulations to you and BB for the job well done! Happy wedding :) Time to plan for honeymoon!💖

Im Engaged!💕

Yeah!! Finally after searching far and wide for the One, I hit another Milestone of my life.. 

I'M ENGAGED! 💑 

Right on my birthday 6 May 2021, with the most beautiful proposal that I ever wanted!

Still remember what I feel when I heard that my sisters got engaged, and thinking when will I even find the One. & now I also finally joined the group. Life is such a mystery 😝

That day we met at City Hall to walk around 5pm, and he surprised me wearing the most formal shirt he had and a beautiful rose bouquet. Then we walked to the esplanade, sweating like mad under the hot day, and after loitering around he bring me towards Fullerton. I thought he had booked a restaurant in the hotel, but he booked an even better location, Monti, that was built right on top of the water! It was so beautiful and I was so happy with the wonderful location and good food.

Unluckily the restaurant was also fully booked (on a weekday somemore!) and was quite noisy. He was getting more nervous by the minute while I was still quite oblivious to the fact that there will be a bigger surprise. After going to the restroom, I came back and was surprised with a birthday cake by the waiter. Then after a song by him and blowing out the candles, he pulled out a Humungous photo album from his backpack and say its for me. He compiled the past 4 years' photos of us and I was already sensing that I may saw the words "Will you marry me?" at the end. 

In the end there was no words like that, so I was like "oh so he not going propose". Then when I was thinking that its such a pity because now is such a good time, he suddenly took out a box from his bag and open it...upside down  😂 Haha! But he did quickly kneeled down very close to my chair, and popped the question.😍 Till now I don't really remember what he say, but I remember feeling very touched and also want him to quickly stand up cause really too much people around 😝 Then I say "YES!" and he put the beautiful ring on my finger. The feeling was indescribable, so overwhelmed with happiness and surprise. After that then I started realised what had happened, that I'm engaged and I started crying 😭 Luckily not too much hahaha but really touched and felt so so happy 😍

Finally, I will like to thank my wonderful Fiancé (Not boyfriend liao) for planning the surprises and giving me the proposal that was everything that I dream of. Thanks for setting up surprises for me and coming up with that wonderful photo album when you are so busy. He even told me he worked on it till 3am before the day, Xinku le! I'm so happy to me your Fiancée too! 💏

My favorite love story is ours.

💓

2020 -The year of Challenges and New Opportunites

OMG, really in one blink of an eye, one year just FLY by! 2020 is the year where there are so much BIG changes that happened and unfortunately we were hit the hardest compared to other normal ppl out there.

First and foremost, my business was actually picking up in Nov, then Dec came and everyone got to go for holidays so sales dip. Then Jan 2020 the sales are still same as Nov, and then the grand Virus hit Singapore in Feb - COVID-19. Then we keep trying to think of new ways, products to sell and market it, but we still cant fight the death of our business. It was an inevitable end where we close in 15 Jun 2020, and in the end ALL the other 8 stores around us also close by Sep. 

These hit us so hard, financially and mentally. But luckily we also manage to escape with the best outcome possible and recoup any costs that we can salvage as compared to the other business. And also when one door close, another opens. I managed to find a job within 2 months, at a very stable and comfortable company, doing what i used to do. Bosses are good, WFH is shiok, pay and benefits are whatever that i had wished for. 

Also because of the virus, i was able to take a step back and assess what i am doing and what i want to do next. A chance to really sit down and think about the next steps. I also had ample rest and had more time with my family, and had the chance to take care of my nephew too! Also it lets me experience WFH, something that i never thought would happen in Singapore. I'm quite lucky that 2020 end on such a good note for me.

On the other hand, BB had a job but its not something that he want to do for long term. Hope that my BB will find his ideal job smoothly and fast, and that opportunities will come to him!

Hope 2021 will really be at least a normal year and everything will be a bit smoother for us, and to you too!💙

---

Oh just to end off, we had went to pray at a temple in Mar, and asked for guidance on whether we should leave the business. The Divination lot says "Run fast, far far away. Don't even think about it." 😨 I got to say its really one hell of a great advice. Thanks so much! 😊