Hi 2019! A quarter of you had passed by so fast and luckily i think i had accomplished quite a fair bit of my bucket list for this year :) They are as follows:
1) Quit my high paying job of nearly 5 years cause i finally look past the money hurdle to pursue my dreams!
2) Started my dream, which is a business venture!
3) Most importantly, its a venture with my partner in crime, BB!
No. 1 was unarguably the most risky and the most problematic bucket list of all. I think i started brewing this thought since early 2018, and its only till Mar 2019 that i officially threw that letter on their face. Within this 1 year plus, i met with a lot of pressure and stress because of the expectations and disagreement from my parents and family. Even till today I'm still meeting with a lot of new stress and pressure from them, and i bet it will be even greater since i'm officially working on the business now. The only fortunate thing is that i had become more confident and stronger, one that acknowledge that the whole world is fighting with myself, internalize that negativity, and still keep my cool and determination to fight against this current towards my dream. *pat myself on the back*
However, No. 2 was also undeniably the most liberating decision made! I had officially quit since 31 Mar 19 and is officially out of work for past 3 weeks, but boy, i never felt so happy in years. Not only was i able to say NO to the work that i hate doing, it's the feeling that i can finally do whatever things that i really WANT to do, not just for money, or family, or peers, but for myself and my future.
No. 3 is The best thing of all, that I'm able to work with BB everyday. The thought of working with him everyday sounds exciting and blessed, because i will be able to see my love everyday. He was the one that fan my flames to pursue my dreams, and also the pillars that anchors and grow the business.
But another worry that we had, is that more disagreements will happen (almost definitely) and we are afraid that it will strain our relationship as a couple. Lucky my BB is the best, we are already feeling the strain when we started the business, so we acknowledge it and we had long talks about it. We agreed that we can worked past the hurdles and continue to put in the effort to spark the love and maintain that healthy relationship. I'm sure if we are able to get past this business hurdle together, our life as a married couple will be as strong too! *hehe*
In light of the immense negativity that i had experienced, it makes me even more thankful to whatever positive energy that comes to me, such as my best friend or random stranger's encouragement. I will not forget their words of encouragement.. Even if its just a simple word of "Jiayo you can do it!", it will somehow lighten the load on my shoulders and i can take another step forward.
Note to myself:
If you are going through hell, keep going. Any test along this way is a test of your character, strength and determination, and you will brave it through. Believe in yourself and the ones that support you. & one day your dream will come true :)
Jiayo Hui Fang and BB! 💓💓
