2023 and 2024 resolutions

 2023 - Pregnant and baby girl

This year 2023 passed so fast, even faster than previous years as i was so busy with one thing- Welcoming my little baby girl!👶 My whole year is filled with her, from the time i realised im pregnant till giving birth and surviving the first few weeks with newborn. It was tough and i was so wrecked in the first few weeks but luckily i survived with BB's help and others. 

We had an induction as baby was reaching week 40, and she came out one day before that. Giving birth was actually easier than the first few weeks after birth, there was no pain and my epidural ended just nice so that i can feel a bit of her moving out from me, like pushing poop out haha. However it was still traumatic as i just lie there not knowing what would happened next and doc just came and put things in my V and then suddenly say i am ready to push within 5 hours of labour. There was no pain until that first night where i feel very sore feeling near my tailbone. I thought its the usual pain where tailbone was impacted. However, it was more towards my right butt and it so pain, deep within the nerves, that make me cry as i cant do anything to lessen it. No position or even lying down can lessen the pain, you can imagine the horror of walking and trying to poop. Eventually doc say its due to episiotomy at my right butt- the tear was so long it reached there. There was nothing I can do except to wait for healing and eat pain killers. Up till the 3rd week then i start to feel the pain has lessen and slowly recovered. I can still remember the night in hospital where i need to go toilet and need the help of BB to hold me while i take baby steps and crying cause of the pain. Thank god we booked A ward and he can stay overnight to help take care of me. Looking back, it was the last 2 nights where we can have full 8 hours sleep haha

To be honest, i feel like i did not have a good confinement period. We did not engage confinement nanny as there was no spare room, and only BB's mum can help which is mainly to take care of baby in the day. At night i have to wake up to pump, another whole set of agony, and feed baby or to clean her- there was not much chance for me to lie down and rest. Hence there was no one to take care of me except BB which is really quite sad. Lack of sleep coupled with pain down there and a body that was in need of recovery, makes me have baby blues. Never have i cried so much in my life with such intensity. I felt like my whole world has changed, the sky had crashed down and i cant even do basic stuff like walking that i feel so depressed. I also missed my home and family as i stayed at in-laws house from 2nd trimester, i missed my freedom and simple life and full 8 hours sleep before pregnancy. I even wished to turn my life back to pre-pregnancy times, but now i wont trade my baby for any other things-maybe for an full 8 hours sleep or travelling haha.

Also giving birth means i have to relearn everything- pee, poop, walk, even till today my body is so sore and pain from carrying baby. I need to relearn exercise and to build more muscle strength. When i went to TCM massage, the masseuse said my left butt was bigger than right and my hip is shifted to right. Looks like i still have alot more recovery to do. 

But with all these woes, my heart has never been so filled with love for my little one. Motherhood is challenging and harsh, but it also opens up a whole new world that's more exciting and fun. I realised  i will do anything and everything so that my baby is safe and healthy💗

My resolutions for next year 2024 - Focusing on myself

After this few months of postpartum period, i realized the importance of a healthy body with strong muscles and that adequate rest is paramount to one's sanity. Relaxation and exercise is also very important so i wont hesitate to spend more money on myself for exercise and relaxation and massage. & To take walks when i need to clear my mind and to breathe in deeply and more slowly.

I also realised the need to stand up for my opinions and views with no guilt, and to fight for them even if it means going against BB or his family opinions. Trust my decision and own it! Last time i felt incompetent and indecisive and let their opinions changed my decision. But now im changed and wont hesitate to say No. E.g. like when i want to bring baby back home to meet my family, BB and family was saying she was too small, but i knew that its safe to bring her to my house as we wont be going out too. & my parents can only see her grandaughter once after so long. Surely if its the opposite way round, BB would have also want to bring baby back regularly for them to meet her.

I also should learn to voice out my frustrations more, and if there are things that im not happy about i should talk and discussed instead of keeping quiet.  & i wont hesitate to fight when i have to protect my baby.

 

This Christmas we cant go out to see lights as baby cant go crowded places and Covid came back. Its a bummer as i always wanted to bring her out, but we managed to go to a cafe once! Big achievement ;) Hopefully we can go out more and travel soon! 

Lastly, i hope everyone i loved will be safe, healthy and happy and warm with lots of joy and love, and to march into 2024 with positive hope and dreams! Finally i have a special little one to celebrate christmas and new year. Grow well my Aurelia, mummy baba will protect and teach you to survive this world. 

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This year my family is complete 👪Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

 

8 Months and less than 2 months left!

As what they says, time flies! Initially it was an agony waiting for 2nd trimester to come, i cant bear to hold my pregnancy as a secret esp at work as i feel really unwell and yet i cant say anything. Then 2nd trimester is like a breeze, i can finally eat all the oily food without getting nauseous, like roti prata and tori Q haha! Then suddenly now week 32, going week 33 this week! 

We really hope baby will stay in tummy for longer as lately my Big Sis just gave birth at week 35. Its really sudden and everything was not ready. After learning this, me and BB got scared and we have washed baby clothes, sterilize the baby bottles and pumps stuff yesterday so we can packed them into the hospital bag.

Still got lots of things havent done: the mattress for baby cot, baby's standing bath tub, buy baby laundry detergent, etc. But we done a couple of others like settling my confinement meals, getting a free baby cot, getting the essentials like baby bottles, etc. I also now going to slowly stop working, like write finish my appraisal and didnt spend much time as i really dont feel i will get good grades, writing my handover already. 

Oh ya speaking of my sister pregnant, the day when she announce her preg is also the same day as me! Just that she already week 13 and im like 6 only. Cause i cant wait to break the news as i feel very tired and keep retching. then i initally show my ultrasound first then JH say teddy also wearing Big brother shirt. then im like thinking how will the dog wear that shirt in advance before i say? Then turns out Teddy wear the shirt cause my Sis is pregnant also! So mind blown for all of us hahahah . But i think its good that i revealed on the same day so we get double surprise!💖

Hope my last stretch of pregnancy goes smoothly and i have a smooth labour, nothing unexpected. I know its gg to be tough but i will stay strong for my baby who is kicking me in my tummy. Lately baby's movements are so strong i can see waves and kicks and my whole tummy shakes haha. Truth be told, i will miss my pregnancy as i really quite enjoy at the last parts like i can take cab when i need to go out, and everyone is so accommodating  to me haha like kind ppl will give up seats, or colleagues also tell me to go home early when i was in office. Also not too much work stress and i can WFH! keke

Hui Fang Jiayo! Hope baby and you stay healthy and happy!👶👪

Im...Pregnant!! :)

Its been a while since i checked in, and im Pregnant! :) Unbelievable, now already going to reach 16 weeks or 4 months and EDD is 25 Oct! After marriage i was diagnosed with hyperthyroid so only when doctor give the Green light around Oct last year then we start to plan. Happy to say that everything is going according to plan and our little Muffin is growing very well and healthily! 💗 I knew that i was pregnant on Valentine's day cause i see some spotting, and tested to be positive! Super happy and excited and quickly share the news with hubby first, and family when im 6 weeks preg. I cant imagine keeping this secret from them when im feeling so tired everyday and uncomfortable, Kudos to all Mummies who can keep this a secret till 3 months haha!

I was on hospitalization leave at home for the past 2 weeks , cause there was some spotting and i quickly go see my gynae at Kovan Dr Phua. I thought it could be something minor like cervix irritation or what, turns out my placenta area is bleeding which scared me a bit. He gave a Jab on my buttock and i have to eat progesterone everyday which makes me very drowsy. But luckily so far all is good! I went back to check (on my Birthday 6 may) and doc say its improving still have some bleeding, so back to medicine :( But all is worth it for little Muffin! 

Little Muffin, Mama and Baba cant wait to see you! Even though my first trimester was not very well with vomits and nausea, now i feel better and can eat more fast food and oily food haha, but Mama will monitor my diet and give u good nutrients ok? Try not to scare us too ok keke

Hope you grow up normally and healthily, love you!💕